Birthday Ideas & Advice

Zubli Zainordin asked:

Happy, is a word so close to our hearts. In fact, happiness is a worldwide subject of discussions. Being happy is a topic of searchers and researchers for ages. While total happiness is a choice for us to experience at any given moment as the ultimate rights of our life.

Please observe that, when an individual could not find happiness, he or she begin to wonder, “why am I not happy?”. When another individual see people who are happy, they begin to caution, “why are you so happy? Don’t hurt yourself now”. When other individual knows a bit about happiness, he or she begin to probe, “are you happy?”. Of course there many more questions to ask. However, at this point it is pertinent to ask, “where can we find total happiness?”.

To illustrate, please imagine this scenario. Sometime ago, the one in a house has observed another who is not happy. The one suggested, “honey, let me take you to the cinema, or a concert tonite. Maybe you long for a circus, there is one nearby. Well, I can even fly with you to Hawaii this Saturday. Or would you prefer that we tour as far as Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia? Do tell me where the place on this globe that you want to go, I’ll take ou there, as long as it makes you happy!”

Yet, the result shall be beyond one’s comprehension, because any place outside oneself has nothing to do with one’s total happiness inside. Horace Friess, once said, “all seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within”.

Yes, total happiness is not without, but within. In fact, total happiness is a gift from the God, to us eversince we were being born into this world. Total happiness is our birthright. As babies it is only natural for us to being happy. In addition, we are continuously being in this state of total happiness inside regardless of what happen or what did not happen outside. In fact, we are able to attain, maintain, and sustain total happiness from then on, throughout our life, until our inevitable death.

Total happiness is within us. Pure, complete and wholesome. It has always been here. It is still here now. Nothing and no one on the face of this earth can take it away from us. It’s level is constant, therefore it cannot be any less or more. It is consistently enough at all times. It is just right for us as we celebrate our first happy birthday, and it is enough even till we celebrate beyond our 100th., happy birthday. We are still happy, moment after moment, and year after year. Naturally we cannot be otherwise.

Yet, when we look around, we are witnessing a great majority of people who are unhappy. There are those who seem to have lost their happiness. They are being unhappy most of the time. The dire need to reach a level of being happy becomes more and more difficult for them. The farther they search for it, the more unhappy they become. The hotter the pursuit of happiness, the more elusive it becomes to them. The more intense their desire for happiness, the more stressful is the challenges of their daily living. Of course total happiness is an illusion. To answer why, Ramona L. Anderson said, “people spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within”.

Surely many people have missed happiness, while others are still searching for the secret to total happiness, and so far none of them are able to receiving and also to most of them none are able to give a correct and satisfying answer to the question of happiness.

Total happiness is within us, why then most of us are searching for it without. Total happiness in always inside us, so why are we looking for it outside. The title of this article at the outset already suggests the very answer to the question “where shall we find total happiness, and where is it’s location?”. The facts remain and it is assuring to know that total happiness is within us. Total happiness is inside us. To illustrate, please imagine a house full of oranges. Yes, oranges on the dining table, in a basket near the television set, in the refrigerator, and more in the store. To exaggerate further, the location of this house is on a piece of land surounded by an orchard of oranges. One day, the resident of the house is about to go out, when his spouse started to ask him, “where are you going?”. To this question he answered, “I am going out to find some oranges”.

Almost similar, you shall find total happiness within us, so we do not have to look for happiness outside. We do not have to be everywhere, nowhere, elsewhere or anywhere to enjoy happiness. We do not need anything to happen, and we do not hope that something won’t happen, in order to attain happiness. Deep within us, we are already happy. We possess it, and it belongs to us. The God has given us total ownership of our own happiness. We are totally happen regardless of any happenstance surrounding our life. We do not have to travel to any hotel or any resort to claim it. Instead beginning now we may choose to advance into an inner journey toward the center of our being should we choose to really discover it. We can touch base as of now, and be in enlightenment and not endarkenment in relations to our total happiness.

Anyone searching for happiness with the wrong reasons, will surely miss it. Let me explain with this familiar story. There are two guys in the darkness of a room. One ask the other, “what are you searching?”, The other answered, “I am searching for a box of matches”. “What for?”, asked the one. “So that I could find the torchlight”, came the answer. “Now, why do you need the torchlight?”, exclaimed the other. “So that I could find a box of matches to lit this cigerette, you silly!”

In addition, anyone searching for happiness at the wrong place, will surely miss it also. Let me explain with another familiar story. There was a man searching for something under a lamp post. A passerby asked him, “what are you searching?” He answered, “my wedding ring”. The passerby thought that ring must be important to this man, so he offered, “may I assist you?”. The man nodded. The passerby then asked to make sure, “where exactly did you lose it?”. The man stooded up straight and pointed his finger to a distant tree. The passerby wondered and asked, “why do you not search for it there?”. The man answered, “Oh! It’s too dark there, here under this lamp post it is so much brighter”.

Now do you know where happy is? Do you also know where is real, true, or total happiness? Do you know where to find a state of being happy? Where the place is? Where is its location? Democritus said, “happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul”. While Aristotle, said “to live happily is an inward power of the soul”. Less anyone forget, one’s soul is inside oneself, and not outside, OK.

Next, please see what Helen Keller said, “happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do…”.

Yes, total happiness is within you. The message of this article is for you to touch base. Close your eyes now and flow inside. So go on an inner journey into the center of your being. You shall reach a point where total happiness is. Then at every moment of your life, you are free to choose total happiness. This is a place where you shall choose to be. Be happy.

Allen Jesson asked:

A poem to express how a mum has always been a best friend, a mentor, an amazing mum and continues to be. especially since the death of her loving and devoted husband, which all happened so suddenly due to a brain tumour.

You have always

Mum, you have always been my best friend,

my mentor, my reason to achieve,

you have given me so very much in life, yes,

you have given me the reason to believe.

You have always been such an amazing mum,

and thankfully, I can also say that in the present tense,

you have shown me so many important lessons,

live and love your life to the full, just common sense.

But since Dad has gone, you have shone,

you have had to take the helm in troubled seas,

you have always been strong, a rock to lean on,

always there to help (and every opportunity you seize).

You have always given great advice and guidance,

and on those seas, you’ve been our guiding light,

you have made rainbows out of stormy weather,

you have made daybreak out of the darkest night.

You have always put your children first,

even though Ill admit, we have near fully grown,

but David, Thomas and I just wanted to thank you,

were very grateful for all the love that you have shown.

You have always looked out for us, constantly,

concerned about our safety and our health,

and now, you are always looking out for your grandchildren,

with you in our lives, we have such treasure, such wealth.

You are a wonderful mother and grandmother,

and yes you have been that, to one and all,

its because of you, we all walk taller,

in fact, I feel like I’m about 10 feet tall.

I just hope my child will think the same of me,

although I admit, you’re a hard act to follow,

but if its okay, Ill try and take your lead,

and a few of your steps I’ll have to borrow.

Because Ill never forget our wonderful times together,

Devondale, Bournemouth, David losing his trunks,

right through to today, my, we love our Baileys,

careful, were turning into a couple of drunks!

But I really enjoy our time together,

we normally end up giggling twice a week,

and I think that is more than okay, Dad would approve, and,

just for one moment, there are some words I need to speak.

You see, he too was such an amazing individual,

you were his quality girl, he was your quality man,

and I know that he is still here with us,

I know, that like us, he is very proud of our Super Nan!

So just know that Ill always be there for you,

I will love and respect you to the end of my days,

and I know that feeling will be returned many times over,

because that is what you have done for us, always.

Copyright Allen Jesson 2006

Deborrah Cooper asked:

Women female gender seems to have an innate desire to improve, nurture, and organize things. Nothing wrong with that, except when it is turned towards a romantic relationship.

People are who and what they are. They don’t change because we see potential in them. They don’t change because we want them to be more, better, different. Snakes bite, wolves howl, and scorpions sting. That’s just how it is. Why can’t women accept that you can’t turn a frog into a Prince, no matter how many times you kiss him?

Begin With Self-Love and Self-Acceptance

Women are notorious for picking themselves apart. Accomplished, beautiful women that present themselves as confident and secure will often demonstrate a shaky sense of self esteem and will look for things to criticize themselves about.

I’ve also noticed that women who feel they are not good enough or flawed will either have ridiculously high expectations of the men in their life, or no expectations at all. An accomplished professional woman may select and fall madly in love with some loser. Sadly, these women secretly believe they aren’t worthy and don’t deserve better. Here is a letter sent to my Dear Ms. HeartBeat advice column:

“I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and we have been living together for 2 months. He has a daughter from another relationship so he pays child support. The only other bills he has is a truck payment and auto insurance. He never offers to help pay any bills in our household. When he gets paid he buys clothes, shoes and things to fix up his truck. I cook for him, do his laundry, keep gas in his truck, and basically pay for everything else! Recently he asked me to help pay his truck payment since I drive it a lot. One day over lunch we talked about our past and he mentioned that he has always been spoiled by the women in his life. Is he a leech or is he spoiled and in need someone to open his eyes to the way he acts?”

A woman with two children moving in with a guy she’s known for only a few months? Paying for the gas in his truck? Doing his laundry and feeding him? And she never once requested that he pay a fair share of household expenses? Is this truly the best man she hopes to ever have?

Real Men Fart With Glee…

And burp, like old clothes because they are comfortable. Men love to play with their big boy toys like power saws and engine blocks. They also leave socks on the floor, prefer sports to shopping, forget birthdays, and really enjoy looking at boobs no matter who they are on.

“I have been living with a man I dated for 8 months prior to moving in with him. The problem is that he has no manners. He swears a lot, he eats like a savage, leaves his things where ever he drops them, is critical of others and prejudiced. I have looked everywhere to find advice on manners in love relationships, but can never seem to find advice beyond either or not he holds the door open for you. I want to be able to open the floor for negotiation. I want a lot to change or I’m prepared to go. How do I discuss this wide reaching subject with my guy? I feel like either I dump him or change him. I just want to be able to relax in my home with or with out him. Can I realistically expect to make this better?”

Whatever he enjoyed doing before you met him, the manners he had (or lacked), his attitudes, and any friends and weird family he had before you came along should be considered a part of the package. You want him? Well if you take him, you get all those “bonus extras” as well.

Your Way Is Not The Only Way!

There are some women that constantly criticize and complain about men’s behavior. These ladies just don’t seem to understand that because they believe something “should” be a certain way, the men they date are not obligated to meet those expectations.

I know a woman in her 40s that gets incensed if she calls a man and he doesn’t call her back right away. She never considers what may be going on in his life that could be a priority over her call! She hasn’t accepted the fact a man with whom she is not yet involved will call if and when he feels like it. She doesn’t get that if he isn’t feeling a need to speak with her or a desire to hear her voice, the phone won’t ring.

Her belief that a man “should” call back quickly and that such a call is “common courtesy” is merely her own belief system. Doesn’t make such a belief a fact; does not obligate a man to adopt her belief system and adhere to it either.

Remove the words “should,” “ought to,” and “why can’t he” from your vocabulary. He is what he is. If you are unhappy with a man’s behavior, thought processes, proclivities or personality, go ahead and NEXT him. Breaking it off is the honest and decent thing to do! It means he may be a good guy, but you recognize that he probably is not the best man for you long-term.

Men Are Only Perfect in Soap Operas

Being comfortable with and accepting of others as mere humans with imperfections and issues must begin with acceptance of self. Love yourself just as you are with your chunky thighs, two left feet and birthmark.

If you feel you would be even more fabulous with additional education or a new haircut to boost your Diva attitude, then have at it! But learn to be okay with yourself and you can easily be okay with others, whether you decide to continue your interaction with them or not.

Men gravitate towards confident, secure women that are accepting of them as men. Men adore being around women who are accepting of their faults, tolerant of their less than perfect behavior, and who love them anyway. Sounds to me like we’re all looking for the same thing!

Remember that.